The Week Before the Meet
This is the final week of prep and yet it’s deload week, talk about a mental struggle. I’m learning to love deload weeks because my body gets to rest and the aches and pains lessen a bit but because it’s the final week before the State Championships I feel like I should be moving heavy weight in preparation. This mental struggle is something that isn’t widely discussed in many fitness circles it feels like. So I’m going to discuss mine here.
In a place, like social media, where you can control what people see (just not their perception of it)by posting only your best lifts, your best angles or your awesome to-do list with everything checked off, so much of life gets left in the shadows. The struggles, the ugly lifting faces, the failed attempts, the lumps and bumps everyone has but tries so hard to hide, these are what complete the remaining picture to life. There is so much more to everyone’s journey that should be shared with the world since you never know who you might connect with, inspire or even help. This week is going to be a struggle for me because mentally I feel like I’m not doing everything I should be but in reality I am. I’m allowing myself to rest and recover so that on Saturday I can be fresh and go in ready to hit all my attempts.
I can prepare for months, train hard and push myself beyond what I’ve done before but this week is when I have to let all that go, accept that I’ve done everything I can to prepare and let fate decide the day. I will show up on Saturday ready to fight for those 9 lifts. I’ll be prepared physically, I’ve put in the work, for weeks and months I’ve followed my training plan. When Saturday comes I’ll put myself in a mental zone so that I can focus on the task at hand but this week in the build up to that one day I’ll probably have some anxiety, some self-doubt, some moments of exuberance, moments of joy, and moments of wondering why I’m putting myself through all of this. The truth is, I love it, all of it. Being able to lift heavy weights an amazing feeling and to top it off, I get to compete. The thing is in the competition - I’m striving to achieve my goals, not be better than anyone else, not to win a medal or any kind of recognition but to prove to myself that I can do this. To prove to myself that I was right in challenging those who told me that I couldn’t or that I would have to stop. I still have to fight those demons to ultimately win the day.
Every time I commit to a training program or to a meet, I know what I’m setting myself up for. I’m going to war with the person I was yesterday, that voice in my head that tells me I’m not good enough or that I should just throw in the towel because of my knees or my age or what ever other negative thing she can think of. For me, battling those internal demons is so much worse than dealing with online trolls, shortsighted people and all those who’ve doubted me because those people don’t truly know me, the woman in my head knows everything about me, what makes me tick, what makes me want to shut it all down and she can be evil.
Every day I wake up and choose to be better than I was yesterday, I choose to keep pushing forward because I believe in myself. I will keep choosing myself and continue to press forward into what brings me joy. This is how I win the battle. It’s how I show up for myself every single day regardless of the outcome, do something everyday that scares you. Everything may not work out the way I would like it to but I know that I put everything I had into it so by doing my best, that’s all I can do. Only fate knows what will happen on Saturday when I step onto the platform but I know my body is ready, now it’s time to bring the strength.
Until next time, post meet!
